墙王谓古哥曰 Recent GoogleGate in Classical Chinese

I just saw this funny article in classical Chinese portraying recent story about Google and Chinese government. A lot of my friend always make fun of me that I lost my heritage. Ok, let me show you this time! And, this is the classical Chinese, not the modern Chinese. I saw this on a website, but I do not know where it is originated. If you know, please tell me. I will cite its original version.

Translated by Forrest Sheng Bao from Classical Chinese to Modern Texan.

墙王谓古哥曰:“寡人以RMB易Gmail账户信息,贵公司不听寡人,何也!且墙灭推亡饭,而君以清华科技园之地存者,以君为搜索引擎之长者,故不措意也。今吾以十倍之钱,请易于君,而君逆寡人者,轻寡人欤?”

King of Walls said to Google, "I used Chinese Yuan to trade user information of some Gmail accounts. You did not obey. My Walls have blocked Twitter and banned Facebook. With some offices in Tsing-Hwa Science Park, your confidence on your leading technology in web searching makes you completely not follow me. Now I offered your ten times of the original price, and you refused again. Are you not taking me seriously?"

古哥对曰:“否,非若是也。Gmail受信于用户而守之,虽USD不敢易也,岂RMB哉?”

Google answered, "No, not exactly. Gmail promises users to protect their privacy. I can't give you such information even if you offer me in US dollars. Absolutely no way in Chinese Yuan."

墙王怫然怒,谓古哥曰:“公亦尝闻流氓之怒乎!”古哥对曰:“米国未见,臣未尝闻也。”墙王曰:“流氓之怒,伏网百万,流量归零!”

King of Walls got stunned and yelled to Google, "Have you heard about The Anger of Bastards?"

Google replied, "We have never heard about it in the US. We don't know it here either."

King of Walls said, "The Anger of Bastards can eliminate the visitor traffic of millions of websites to zero in a blink of an eye."

古哥曰:“大王常闻草泥马之怒乎?”墙王曰:“草泥马之怒?神马东东?大概亦自宫审查,以菊侍我耳。”

Google asked, "My lord, have you heard about The Wrath of The Grass Mud Horse?"

"The Wrath of The Grass Mud Horse? What the heck is that? May be just self-censorship to please me. "

古哥曰:“此百度之怒也,非草泥马之怒也。若草泥马必怒,我他妈不赚钱,你丫也东窗事发,天下失笑,今日是也。”遂取消过滤。

Google detailed, "That is The Anger of Baidu, not The Wrath of The Grass Mud Horse. When The Grass Mud Horse is angry, I won't do any business on your land and your WallGate will be well known. Today is the time. The whole world is laughing at you."

墙王色挠,长跪而谢之曰:“先生坐,何至于此!一切好商量,一切好商量!”

King of Walls was very worried. He kneed down and begged to Google, "Have a seat, sir. This is not the biggest deal. We can work it out. We can negotiate."

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