I just saw this funny article in classical Chinese portraying recent story about Google and Chinese government. A lot of my friend always make fun of me that I lost my heritage. Ok, let me show you this time! And, this is the classical Chinese, not the modern Chinese. I saw this on a website, but I do not know where it is originated. If you know, please tell me. I will cite its original version.
Translated by Forrest Sheng Bao from Classical Chinese to Modern Texan.
King of Walls said to Google, "I used Chinese Yuan to trade user information of some Gmail accounts. You did not obey. My Walls have blocked Twitter and banned Facebook. With some offices in Tsing-Hwa Science Park, your confidence on your leading technology in web searching makes you completely not follow me. Now I offered your ten times of the original price, and you refused again. Are you not taking me seriously?"
Google answered, "No, not exactly. Gmail promises users to protect their privacy. I can't give you such information even if you offer me in US dollars. Absolutely no way in Chinese Yuan."
King of Walls got stunned and yelled to Google, "Have you heard about The Anger of Bastards?"
Google replied, "We have never heard about it in the US. We don't know it here either."
King of Walls said, "The Anger of Bastards can eliminate the visitor traffic of millions of websites to zero in a blink of an eye."
Google asked, "My lord, have you heard about The Wrath of The Grass Mud Horse?"
"The Wrath of The Grass Mud Horse? What the heck is that? May be just self-censorship to please me. "
Google detailed, "That is The Anger of Baidu, not The Wrath of The Grass Mud Horse. When The Grass Mud Horse is angry, I won't do any business on your land and your WallGate will be well known. Today is the time. The whole world is laughing at you."
King of Walls was very worried. He kneed down and begged to Google, "Have a seat, sir. This is not the biggest deal. We can work it out. We can negotiate."